If you don’t have something nice to say…

I was recently having a conversation with a very bright (female) colleague when she made the following remark about someone she was having a challenging relationship with outside of work: “Everything she does with her hands she un-does with her words.”  I was struck by just how appropriate this comment was in describing so many situations.

How many of us have worked hard to produce something (whether it’s a work project or a home/family project) only to shoot ourselves in the foot with an impulsive or ill considered criticism/remark? Sadly, I know that I have. It is a humbling experience.

In my case, it was in pushing others to my own standards, believing that my own way is the very best way. I may get an A for my efforts but if no one wants to celebrate the achievement with me (for being an overly critical snoot) then what joy is there in the result? For those of us who are our own worse critic, this is a very challenging life lesson.

If you do suffer it, be eternally grateful for the experience. Acceptance without ego opens a lot of discoverable, middling ground.

It does not matter how hard a person works to deliver results if they fail to treat other people with respect and with an open mind to another person’s dignity. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our heads that we don’t always step outside ourselves and into someone else’s shoes.  Ever been there?

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